​​The Gift of Discernment
‒ and what no longer belongs in the year ahead
Written by Sam Abeysekera on 17 December 2025
I. The Reasonable Question You Shouldn’t Be Asking
December has a way of provoking the same questions every year...

What should I do differently next year?
What should I fix? What should I add?

They’re reasonable questions.

But they also tend to keep us circling the same patterns, just with better intentions.

Because a new year isn’t just for normal planning. It’s a time to light up what's been in the shadows...

It’s a point in the year where we can pause just enough to surface a quieter knowing about what no longer fits. Not what’s broken - but what’s been outgrown. Not necessarily what failed - but what was just enough.

More often than not, we carry forward what’s just okay. But what we choose to carry forward shapes not only our own direction, but the standards, pace, and culture others adapt to.

In nature, growth doesn’t come from constant expansion. It comes from pruning. Cutting back what once flourished so that what comes next isn’t crowded out by what came before.

December, if we let it, offers the same invitation.
II. The Hidden Cost of “Good Enough”
The most difficult things to release in a successful career are not the obvious missteps.

Sometimes, they’re the things that work:

   • Client work that fills a calendar, but isn't aligned to a clear trajectory
   • Methods that use up your time rather than magnify it
   • Roles you perform (expertly), long after they’ve stopped stretching you

Over time, “good enough” can become its own bottleneck. And because nothing is visibly broken, there’s no urgency to change - just a subtle feeling of being held in place.

This is the hidden weight many high-performing law partners carry into each new year: layers of obligation, expectation, and legacy decisions that haven’t been revisited in a long time.
III. Watch for Convincing Illusions
Over time, "reasonableness" can quietly become a ceiling. It can show up as: 

   • Thinking in terms of tasks instead of systems 
   • Staying adaptable when persistence would serve you better
   • Missed opportunity from not expressing ourselves (well or at all).
   • Saying yes a little too often

Being reasonable is often equated with professionalism. For many high-performing women in particular, it has been a survival skill in systems that often reward status quo more than clarity.

But slowly, subtly, it can dilute strategic authority. It keeps things running smoothly - while quietly tethering you to roles, expectations, and dynamics that belong to an earlier version of you.

For example, instead of: How do I keep up? 
Try: What am I still carrying that no longer deserves this level of effort? 

Another convincing illusion is busyness.

Busyness feels productive. It suggests momentum. But movement alone doesn’t tell you whether your effort is compounding or simply consuming...

Many professionals arrive at year-end exhausted because their energy has been distributed across too many directions - some inherited or assumed, some never consciously chosen.

This is where the end of a year and the start of a new one, matters.

Not as a moment to optimize performance, but as a chance to question alignment.

Movement feels safe. Direction is what actually changes outcomes.
IV. Editing, Not Optimizing
Optimization assumes the right things are already in place.

Editing asks a different question.

What can be removed?
What no longer earns its place?
What once mattered, but no longer does?

Editing isn’t dramatic. It doesn’t announce itself as change, but it creates space for it.

This is the quiet gift of discernment: noticing where effort is being spent out of habit rather than purpose, and allowing yourself to tone it down, or even set it down.

Sometimes the most strategic move isn’t an addition.
It’s an edit.
A Pause
As a year turns, it’s worth sitting with a few questions:

What are we still carrying simply because it once worked?
Where has being reasonable delayed clarity?
What keeps us in motion, but no longer moves you forward?
What would have space to emerge if we stopped filling every gap?
Closing reflections
The start of a year is not something separate from us.

It asks us to notice what we already know -
and whether we’re ready to honor it.

Wishes don't alter the course. 
A decision quietly changes everything. 

Sam Abeysekera

Sam is dedicated to empowering female partners and founders in the legal industry to break through barriers and redefine success. As the lawyer's advocate, she equips her clients with strategies to become seasoned rainmakers and thrive within the dynamics of law firm culture, all while maintaining balance and authenticity.
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