Make an Imposter of Imposter Syndrome
Written by Sam Abeysekera on 14 June 2024
Imposter syndrome often strikes swiftly, catching us off guard. It’s the underlying belief that we’re not enough, and it most often surfaces in high-achieving people. One moment, we're fine; the next, can be overwhelmed by a sense of inadequacy. Here's how to break free from this cycle and make an imposter of imposter syndrome.
The Real or Imagined Threat 
Imposter syndrome is not the same thing as inexperience. Imposter syndrome is not real. It is driven by an over-anxious mind and has no basis in reality. Inexperience is factual but does not limit you from proceeding within guardrails. The difference between the two is a killer judgment of yourself, “Am I good enough?”

Many associates spend years or decades before making partner; and then feel like a beginner again. Imposter syndrome is a normal response when you’re in that process of transition from one version of yourself to another. The trick is to recognize you’re in a transition and to adopt a beginner's mindset. Any feelings of discomfort can be accepted as a necessary part of the transition, but keep focused on the process of stepping into your new role. 
Progress Is Growth Not Perfection
There’s a beautiful quote by Hillel that says: "If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am only for myself, what am I? And if not now, when? " It highlights two binary opposites. On the one hand, we must advocate for ourselves and rely on our own minds and intuition to navigate the world. However, if we’re not open to others and change, we’ll limit who we can be. I don’t know any senior professional who has not ‘failed’ at something at least once. But giving up too soon is the biggest failure of all. Growth is impossible if you don’t lose some of yourself while trusting yourself to know what you need. To Hillel’s last question: the time is always now. 
Embrace Experimentation
In the legal profession, failure is not an option, yet true growth arises from the freedom to experiment and confront new situations. How do we reconcile this?

We experiment wisely. Consider mountain climbers scaling high peaks. They explore new routes but always have a base camp to return to—a place of safety and resources. Establish your base camp. This could be a mental space, a supportive community or mentor, or a personal approach. Reflect, reassess, and prepare. This foundation allows you to experiment wisely.
The Simplest Base Camp – Reframing The Problem
When confronted with an “Am I good enough?” worry, I’ve found the simplest way to get to base camp is to shift my focus to my clients and stakeholders and reflect on what they need. I’ve consistently found that everything flows from answering this question. For example: What do they need? What is the best way to deliver it? What do I know about how to do this? What works best? Et cetera.

Ten times out of ten, I’ve realized that I’ve been overthinking the issue. Ultimately, people are not looking for perfection; they just want to see a problem solved and then constantly improve it over time. Sustaining momentum here is your ally to keep you from staying stuck in your own mind. And remember to surround yourself with those who offer a soft landing—mentors and peers who lift you up, dust you off, and encourage your journey. 
A Quick Strategy to Step Forward Confidently
1. Recognize the Moment
Imposter syndrome hits fast. An unpleasant or unusual situation arises, and before we know it, we're trapped in negative thoughts. Break the cycle as soon as these thoughts and feelings arise.

2. See The Danger Of Imposter Syndrome 
Don’t wait to take a walk or think about it later. When you feel the shivers of imposter syndrome, mindfully acknowledge the threat it poses. Recognize that it can pull you into anxiety, burnout, procrastination, overworking, decreased job satisfaction, avoiding opportunities, stunted career growth, isolation, communication barriers, dependence on external validation, undermining achievements, and stress. With this awareness, you can slowly detach and interrupt the negative feedback loop.

3. Set yourself achievable tasks
Remember the hare and tortoise. Break your task down into manageable components that you can tackle one by one at your own pace. What is the goal? What is needed? How do I get started? Then start. Each completed task nurtures confidence, creating a positive feedback loop. Breathe deeply, and keep finding your center instead of being swept into self-doubt. Training yourself in this way ensures that success becomes your natural set-point.

4. Set Boundaries But Allow Yourself To Get The Edge
Lawyers are often seen as having to know all the answers, especially women. This can be very damaging and lead to overwhelming expectations. It’s essential to stay true to your abilities and place boundaries for yourself to focus on the things that you can own and control and not those things that lay outside of that.

Also, it’s imperative to never diminish yourself – to make others comfortable or even yourself. Take your place proudly because you belong. And don’t confuse boundaries with barriers. We always want to keep lines of communication healthy and be open and not closed while recognizing our needs and honoring them. 

5. Manage Stress
Developing strategies to manage stress is crucial. Meditation has been one of my best skills for this. But whatever it is—such as walking in nature, listening to music, or working out—your well-being is critical to working effectively. Give yourself grace. There may be times, especially when women navigate menopause, when you may not feel at your sharpest. Find your set point where you can function with ease. Ninety-nine percent of what we do actually comes from a small bucket of core knowledge. Focus on mining that bucket. People receive the best of you when you allow yourself to be you.
Conclusion:
Imposter syndrome affects everyone at some point, especially when we encounter uncharted territory. This is about shattering the glass ceiling in our own minds. The imposter is not you; it's the view that you don’t belong. Allow yourself to be the person you want to be. Anything less is the imposter.

Personal Note: Recently, I was honored with an unsolicited 'Who's Who in America 2024' recognition by Marquis Who's Who. I am proud to say that I didn’t pay a single cent for this recognition; it was awarded purely on merit. Initially, I thought I'd share this news only with friends and family, thinking, "Who am I to be a Who’s Who?" There’s so much more to do. However, sharing it more broadly aligns perfectly with the themes of acknowledging value and embracing accomplishments discussed in this article. I hope this quick strategy helps you as it’s helped me.

Sam Abeysekera

Sam is dedicated to empowering female partners and founders in the legal industry to break through barriers and redefine success. As the lawyer's advocate, she equips her clients with strategies to become seasoned rainmakers and thrive within the dynamics of law firm culture, all while maintaining balance and authenticity.
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