While comfort breeds good communication, the reverse also holds. Just as feeling comfortable nurtures good communication, effective communication nurtures comfort. Recognizing this, our work with this client centered on enhancing her communication skills - focusing on principles, approaches and adaptability - allowing her to approach strangers with the same confidence she has with her acquaintances.

This is rooted in a simple premise: Effective communication isn't about mimicking ease or rehearsing clever lines; it's about fostering understanding and connection. Sharpen your communication, and natural comfort follows.

As an example, when done well, you’re able to close clients in one meeting, get to the heart of issues quickly, and handle objections more successfully. 

In fact, if you can guage how “comfortable” someone is with you (and you with them), it’s a good barometer for the overall health of that relationship, or whether a better approach is needed. 

So what are some key methods for good communication when feeling supremely uncomfortable?

At its heart, superior communication equals attention to another’s needs.

It transcends the cursory pleasantries of inquiring about their well-being or even enjoying someone’s company. Instead, it delves deeper, driven by a genuine curiosity about their pressing needs, guiding us to discern if and precisely how we might assist.

In my work, the importance of communication continually emerges—from crafting persuasive pitches to skillfully navigating workplace biases. Balancing logic with emotion stands out as the fulcrum of effective communication, especially for women partners. Relying solely on logic may come across as detached, while leaning heavily into emotion can be perceived as impulsivity. The most authentic and impactful messages are woven where these two intersect.

To illustrate, I recently assisted a tenacious client who was in a predicament: her male senior colleague was unduly claiming her origination credits and adopting bully tactics to do so. This seems a straightforward case of addressing professional injustice, but beneath lay the delicate challenge of asserting what’s right while maintaining her reputation as a collaborative team player. We strategized a communication approach anchored in factual reasoning, yet suffused with a genuine intent to foster a cohesive team environment. By addressing the situation head-on, but with tact and understanding, she was able to secure her origination credits and fortified her standing as a valued team member with upper management.

Communication, at its heart, transcends mere information exchange. It becomes an avenue to forge meaningful connections, cultivate understanding, and instill mutual comfort. Refine this skill, and you'll soon observe the ripple effect it has on your professional journey leading to increased client trust, enhanced relationships, and career advancement.

In our dynamic law world, where perceptions are ever-shifting, the ability to communicate remains our cornerstone. By refining both our internal and external dialogues, we not only navigate the maze of relationships but do so with unmistakable ease and confidence. Our feelings of discomfort, should not deter us. Because genuine comfort, after all, is no accident: it emerges from methods and approaches (of which there are many more to discuss) that truly foster the language of connection.