Boundaries: The Unseen Sculptor In Your World
Written by Sam Abeysekera on July 28, 2023
Boundaries Are More Than Walls
Boundaries. Such a loaded word, isn't it? A term that often brings to mind walls, restrictions, and limitations, and the word NO. But what if I told you boundaries are about the word YES. And the key to your freedom, your expansion, your fullness? 

Think about it. When we set a boundary, we're not merely keeping others out. We're defining ourselves.

When we define ourselves, we determine our own shape. We're declaring: this is where I end, but also this is where I begin. These declarations are not constraints. They are affirmations of our worth, our needs, and our desires, love notes to ourselves.
Living Beyond Comfort Zones
Consider your backyard. The perimeters are seldom visited, aren't they? But this is often where we find the fragrant wildflowers growing unattended or brilliant butterflies dancing in the corners. Our lives often mirror our yards. We confine ourselves to our comfort zones, living well within our boundaries, rarely venturing out to the edges of our potential. Yet, it's often at these edges, these boundaries, where magic happens. Where we discover parts of ourselves we never knew existed. Where we realize our potential isn't a confined space, but an expansive landscape waiting to be explored.  

In my work with lawyers, particularly women building their practices, I've seen how mindsets can shape realities. For instance, I had a client, let's call her Jane. Jane saw herself in a certain light – diligent, detail-oriented, and analytical. Yes, these qualities made her a brilliant law partner, but she defined herself by them so much that she didn't think she could be anything more. 

One day, she came to me, feeling overwhelmed with the workload and struggling to grow her practice. It was then I asked her, "Jane, what boundaries have you set for yourself?" She looked puzzled. "I thought boundaries were about saying no to others, not to myself," she said. 

I explained to her, "Boundaries are not about limiting yourself, they are about understanding your potential, what you CAN do, and where you can EXTEND. They are about acknowledging the fullness of who you are. They are your map to navigate the vast landscape of your self."
Exploring Boundaries; Exploring Self
Jane took this to heart. She began questioning the boundaries she had unconsciously set for herself. What priorities was she letting slip through and why? Could she be more than a detail-oriented attorney? Could she also be a visionary, a strategist, a leader? As she explored these questions, she discovered parts of herself she had never allowed herself to see. 

As she redefined her boundaries, she realized she was capable of more than she ever imagined. Her practice began to flourish. She was no longer just a partner. She was a business connoisseur, a feminine trailblazer, a creative, a champion for her clients and her LIFE. Her glass was no longer half-full or half-empty, it was overflowing.

Boundaries, my dear friend, are not about constriction. They are about exploration. They are a way of saying, "This is me. All of me. Every brilliant, beautiful part of me." 
Redefining Your Boundaries
So, I encourage you, take a moment today. Ask yourself, "What boundaries have I set for myself? Are they based on who I truly am, or are they confining me to who I think I should be?"

As you redefine your boundaries, you allow yourself to grow. You allow yourself to expand. You allow yourself to experience the fullness of who you are. Because you, dear friend, are more than you ever imagined. Let your boundaries show you the way.

Sam Abeysekera

Sam is dedicated to empowering female partners and founders in the legal industry to break through barriers and redefine success. As the lawyer's advocate, she equips her clients with strategies to become seasoned rainmakers and thrive within the dynamics of law firm culture, all while maintaining balance and authenticity.
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